Monday, December 2, 2013

Am I a writers group whore?

"Am I a writers group whore?"
The question popped into my head as I made a spinach and kale smoothie and plotted out my work week.
"No... whores get paid," I realized.
"Jeez.  I'm a writers group slut!"
I've done it all.  Support-type groups.  Hard-core critique groups. Laid-back "reading circle" groups. Small groups. Large groups. Groups with friends.  Groups with strangers. Online groups.  And sometimes two or three groups at once.
I didn't discriminate.
If I was asked to be a member,  I just said yes.
Then I got burned out.
Now, I'm celibate -- from writers groups.
And it feels a little weird.
I guess it's because I have a love-hate relationship with them.  
Some of groups really helped me.  Being accountable weekly/monthly kept me productive and gave me the push I needed to choose writing over watching a "Gilmore Girls"  marathon -- most of the time.
Other groups never got into a groove because of scheduling conflicts.
And some others just weren't a good fit ... bad  relationships that I was determined to make work anyway.
Lauren Sapala writes in Should You Join a Writer's Group?   that it's crucial to make a list of your five "must-haves"  before picking a group.  I would add that defining your personal writing goal(s) is a good first step, too.  I did neither.  Because luck always works, right?

The Dark Side of Writing Groups is a pointed look at the ugly underbelly of writers gatherings and gives some good tips on the importance of finding/forming  a group that has people who really know how to -- and are comfortable with --  constructively analyzing other people's work.  The best groups I've been in are ones where people gave really good critiques and got you excited about your work.
Lastly, here's a funny list of 13 Writers Group Members to Avoid  ...

My slutty days are over!   I'm making a must-have list and I'm gonna find my ONE perfect writers group... or, maybe, two.... three tops...

Do you have any thoughts/advice on writers groups? What would your 5 must-haves be?

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